Fighting For It

She had fought in wars one after another.

In search of that one thing that sates the thirst in her soul. When morning dawn upon the world she pushed her limbs and muscles to move in desperation as her core cries out. She didn't want to fight anymore as the blood and gore petrifies her but she cannot falter, not until she finds it.

The confusion of her quest or even the difficulty of it perhaps lies in the fact that she has no clue what she was searching for. Even when she had slaughtered and drown herself in sadness or devastation her mind had remain blank as her heart became jaded and hurt.

Than came the greatest war that she had ever fought. 

It was a war below her, it can be said to be unworthy even more so than the blunt sword in her treasure box.

As this war is one where she and the few of her men had to fight with children. Little innocent beings that did not age above fifteen. Innocence was carved into their feature and the fear in their heart shone so bright it hurts her much more than the stab of a sword.

Yet she continues to fight.

Her sword pierced through the right eye of an innocent child as the blood bubbled from his mouth and spilled on the torn white shirt. It was a gruesome sight but she did not scream, she merely took the weapon from child's hand and disarm it. Leaving his corpse and pile of sands along with rest of the fallen children as her comrades retreat to their camp.

Their gaze was like her's- worn.

Along the way she forgot the reason as to why she was fighting in the first place. What was the thing that she was searching for? Why was she even searching for it in the first place? She didn't need it as she could still breathe, eat and smile without it.

It was a process but as time pass and more blood is spilled her hunt of what would sate her soul had become nothing. The war she fight for is merely a pattern of life that she has to go through as it fills her belly and bring her victory that would allow her a moment of joy.

Even if the joy was not real and will not last.

Today as she tore through the door in her war form.

Her heart continues to beat but her soul has gone cold as it is frozen in a cage that she has build over the times of every life she took and the lies she told herself.

I am alright.

This is how it should be.

The lies repeated in her brain like a broken tape recorder and she believed it, as the thirst of her heart was something that could not be quench. The wars were too long and the quest to search for it had left her in pain while the scars throbs at night. She had enough of the pain which is why her sword grew sharper and the armor grew thicker even when her heart remain empty.

However, she was proven wrong.

When he stood in front of her.

His frame lanky and thin while limbs were bend in a manner that was unfamiliar to any human being she felt the tears fall. Tears she did not know that could still fall from her blue orbs- she rubbed her eyes clearing away the flood to take a better look at him.

His smile was loop side as the bruise prevented him from smiling with two sides. He was shifting left and right in a nervous manner - like the little boy he was when they first meet all those years ago. He was beautiful, even with broken bones, twisted limbs, million scars or bruises as his soul shine bright.

She thought that she had lost him.

Now after all this time she has found what she was looking for and in truth she was not looking for him. Even if she loves him to the point of no return, he was not the light she was hunting for. This never ending search that she had endured could be found not only in him but through his eyes she found it.

It was hope.

Perhaps, it is a vague expression of the object of her desperation pursuit but it was the nearest word that can be used to describe. It was hope in humanity, in life, in luck, in learning- it was something very simple but can be lost along the growth and fall of the war we fight in.

Each evil deed we do chips away that feeling in us.

"Sorry, I am late." He whispered as his warm arm engulfed her.

She chocked on to her tears.

He wasn't late as it will never be too late to find ourselves and pick up the pieces that has been scattered across the fights we have been through. If there is still breathe left in us this is not the end as deep down of us hope always exist.

The key is to fight for it.